Destination Paradise

It has clearly been an eternity since my last post and much has happened. Let's do a quick review for the benefit of those who have been following and wondering, or for those who are new to our story. A lot of this will come from the perspective of my Facebook account. January 2014 Just to recap, our last visa interview was in Seoul in 2012, where we were denied a visa and the opportunity to file a waiver. Since then policy has changed indicating that people in Carlos' situation SHOULD be able to argue for the chance to file a waiver. So that's what we were doing at the start of the year. I finally gathered the necessary documents and shipped them off to our lawyer so she could file our I-601 waiver.  Here's a picture of the stack of evidence of hardship I sent. Keep in mind this is just a portion of the waiver, as our lawyer then proceeded to construct a thick brief to give all of this context. A major undertaking. February 2014 Our lawyer finished con...

Saying goodbye to Daddy's airplane at Incheon airport/Seoul So yeah. It's been awhile. No, the title isn't referring to a new baby, as thankfully our lives are quite full with the two we already had as of my last posting. But in the nine months since I last updated this blog, I guess we've had a lot of eventful moments anyway. Most notably, we said goodbye to Korea. Korea was a gracious host. Certainly not without its challenges (goodness, were there challenges). But it was the one country that offered us visas, a job, a place to live, our son's first school, our daughter's birthplace, and for two years, a home. We made lifelong friends. We gained new food addictions. We discovered just how much we could accomplish all alone, half a world away from our friends and families, with no one to depend on but each other. And we learned just how much we really needed each other. Lucas and his friends take a final stroll through Seoul's historic center ...

a symbol of the vows we took on May 12, 2007 In the days leading up to Valentine's Day, there tend to be lots of events and lively public discussion about marriage. For example, today is National Marriage Day, and there is a growing international movement to make the week surrounding February 14  International Marriage Week , a week to celebrate marriage and promote its health and survival. In fact, last year several Congressmen in the House of Representatives spent 45 minutes reinforcing the benefits of marriage and the need for a National Marriage week. During that time, they said things like the following: "...It should always be our goal to keep that family unit together, and to hold that bedrock of our society together...And this is something that we can build on that will benefit our society." ~Rep. Gregg Harper and this "National leaders should be encouraging stable family formation, not redefining marriage. I call upon Congress to recognize the i...

Here is about 3 months' worth of video footage and possibly some previously unseen photos related to our new life in Korea. I finally strung them all together thanks to the wonders of iMovie. It's a bit on the long side, but hopefully it will give you a bit more of a taste of our life here. Everything here was shot either on an iPod, an iPad, or MacBook iSight camera (and a few random LG dumbphone camera shots, too).  So it’s pretty unprofessional, but I think it tells the story pretty decently. :) Glad we’ve finally reached this stop on our journey.

My list of ways to survive unwanted separation has been sitting there begging to be taken up again, so here we go, I'm jumping right to one of my favorites. Coping Strategy #4: Choose joy. Choose victory. Choose to believe the miracle. This one actually took me a really long time to figure out, unfortunately. But apparently if you live every day feeling that life is awful, the world is out to get you, God has forgotten you, and things will never improve, you really start to believe it, and you get even more miserable! A friend of mine recently updated her Facebook status to say, "Choose joy." I thought that was remarkable because it's simple but so true. When everything around seems bleak, you really have to be intentional about living positively. Some days, this means pushing out thoughts of: "My husband's having a horrible day, I'm a whole country away, my son is sick, the Skype connection is too choppy to talk, and I had an awful day at wor...

Last week when I started drafting a list of ways many of us survive unwanted separation from our spouses, I realized that I was listing each strategy in order of when I discovered it, not necessarily in order of importance. So while the most important stuff will come later, for now, this one's a pretty big one: Coping Strategy #3: You absolutely MUST stay busy I don't think this one can be stated enough. When I find myself spending too much time wallowing in the awfulness of being separated from Carlos, the truth is, I just have too much available time. Although generally Lucas takes care of demanding my every waking moment, sometimes I have to actively look for ways to fill the remaining time so the glaring awfulness doesn't get to stand out. Besides the obvious ( work , daily tasks ), I've had to look for ways to invest myself in other people and other pursuits so that I can divert my energy to something besides mourning over the time my family has lost. Here...

This post is dedicated to all the people who wonder how we separated spouses do it, and to all those who know exactly how we do it because they live it every day. I get asked all the time how it's possible to survive this long in a separate country from my husband, while raising our child. Honestly, it's a very absurd concept to ponder: maintaining a life separated by more than a thousand miles from the person you love and swore to stand by for the rest of your life. But in practice, it's actually not so extraordinary. See, when you have no other choice, you do what you must. Obviously the simplest solution would be to eat a lot of ice cream, crawl under the covers, curl up in a ball, and try to never come out. And I'm not gonna lie: I've tried it. But then Lucas came along and that was no longer an option because as much as I'd like to stay in a sugar-induced state of self-pity in bed every morning, I have a child who not only needs me but literally grabs...

Lucas was finally born on December 23 at 6:22 am. He was 7 lbs 10 oz, 20 in of perfection! He is in fabulous health, and he and Amy were able to leave the hospital on Christmas Eve in time to spend the holiday with family. Carlos was able to watch the birth via Webcam, and is so proud of his new son. He even managed to capture some of Lucas' first moments on video: Here are some other photos of the baby with proud family members: With Grandpa With Amy's cousin Carly and Grandma Look at all that hair! More photos and updates to come...

OK, a week has passed since the last post, and a LOT has happened since then. First of all, I said goodbye to Carlos (and our home in Mexico), knowing full well that the next time I see him, I'll be introducing him to our newborn baby! That's a sad and happy thought at the same time. The GOOD news is that the next time I see him, Lord willing, we will be meeting up in the lovely city of Windsor, Ontario, Canada! That's right. With the help of my wonderful parents, and possibly even joined by my brother and sister-in-law, we will be driving through Michigan into Canada shortly after the baby's born. Carlos will fly one of the direct flights from Mexico to Canada and then travel to Windsor to meet up with us for several days so that he can meet his new baby. After that, he'll ideally stick around for a short while scouting out the city of Toronto, which we dream of as our future home. You've read correctly. Our days in Mexico are coming to an end. It...

Carlos is now in his hometown of Monterrey, Mexico where it is frequently 100° Fahrenheit with 100% humidity. So for those of you wondering why I'm not with him, there is a big part of your answer. I was not born in the desert, and I have no desire to live in a steaming, dusty, mountain-enclosed bowl of smog and pure heat. Anyway, Carlos is living with his brother and his mom, who is currently spending some time in Mexico as well. He's been assembling paperwork, preparing for Barcelona, and generally getting shocked at how fast money drains away in Monterrey. Meanwhile I've been working as a "Personal Assistant" to my aunt & uncle, helping take care of loose ends so they can focus on running the medical office. So I pretty much get to spend my days doing what I love: driving around the Chicagoland area in my Mazda3 and shopping! Things are going OK considering that we're separated by a whole country only two months after our wedding. It'll...